I've had much time to reflect on what has happened over the past few months. Spent 5 weeks on bed rest, 3 at home, 2 in the hospital, lost our first born at 24 weeks premature and 3 weeks later my Grandma Huny passed away.

I've felt sad, angry, jealousy, fear and guilt...it's like riding the emotional roller coaster that never stops. Most of these feelings have subsided but of course they will never truly go away. I've found comfort through many things; therapy, writing, religion and stories of women who share the same experiences.

I've thought long and hard about my Catholic roots. I say this because my Grandma Huny was a devoted Catholic. As I watched Huny prepare herself for the next journey in her life I saw no fear only comfort and acceptance. She had something to believe in to help guide the way. As my journey through life is different at this very moment I too must believe that GOD has a plan for Sean and I. Believing helps me put one foot in front of the other each and every day.

I've learned so much from what has happened...one that many may not understand and that is ok. We should appreciate life and the people that surround us. They are gifts! I don't want to sweat the small stuff. I want to embrace the things that truly make me happy like Sean (my hubby), family and friends, Zoey and Sadie (my two labs) and most of all...Life.

I welcome 2010. It's all about new challenges and a happy and healthy new year.